The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for..

Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven..

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people..

Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?.

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them.

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself..

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear..

Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb..

And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I suppor….

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying..

No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second..

Ladies, you may not realize this, understand this, or even believe this, but everything else we do is ultimately for you. Men don't do anything-creat….

Due to the potent combination of my sexual recklessness and the slutty nature of some of the girls I have slept with, I have accumulated enough stori….

The rules your parents teach you to live by are very different than the rules the world actually runs by. Most of the conventional wisdom is not only….

Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful..

The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life..

I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay atte….

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are..

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I….

If you want to be seen as courageous by some and hated by others, just say what you really think..

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like liste….