W. S. Gilbert

I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.

When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.