I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie..

I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat; he looked very calm, you'd give him money,….

It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are..

Get out of show business. Its the best advice I ever got, because Im so stubborn that if someone would tell me that, I would stay in it to the bitter….

There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!.

I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States..

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it..

I could play a cop, I could play a crook, I could play a lawyer, I could play a dentist, I could play an art critic-I could play the guy next door. I….

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body..

To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks..

My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month..

Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I n….

You see, my father was a Catholic priest, Greek Orthodox, but I think he started out as a Jew, then he became a Catholic priest..

The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty..

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more..

We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?.

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow..