There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches..

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office..

I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business ….

Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so..

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When….

In all your life, you will never find a method more effective in getting through to another person than to make that person feel important..

I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened..

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts..

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing..

I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money..

If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership..

A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination..

The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so..

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there..

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing..

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse..

Common sense ain't common..

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car..

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up..

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.