My forte is awkwardness..

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?.

I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack..

You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group..

My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my sh….

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were ….

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort..

I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'.

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese..

I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of poin….

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean..

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker..

Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know h….

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles..

I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy..

Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver..

I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers..

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock..

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means..

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before..