I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver..

I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack..

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before..

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles..

Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort..

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means..

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch..

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock..

My forte is awkwardness..

I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?.

Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know h….

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean..

I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy..

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for th….

My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself..

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker..

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were ….

My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my sh….

I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of poin….