I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I'd done a lot of things I wasn't proud of.
Things don't exist until they exist. - John Mulaney
Things don't exist until they exist.
- John Mulaney
The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time. - John Mulaney
The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I'm new in town. - John Mulaney
Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I'm new in town.
I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment. - John Mulaney
I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.
Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken - John Mulaney
Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken
I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table. - John Mulaney
I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.
I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion. - John Mulaney
I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.
Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines - John Mulaney
Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines
I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting. - John Mulaney
I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.
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