The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a childminder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.

- John Osborne

Don't clap too hard - it's a very old building.

- John Osborne

Don't be afraid of being emotional. You won't die of it.

- John Osborne

It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly.

- John Osborne

Writers don't need love; all they require is money.

- John Osborne

There's no such thing as failure - just waiting for success.

- John Osborne

Go on - but don't think you can kill my confidence. I've had experts doing it for years.

- John Osborne

Censorship is the commonest social blasphemy because it is mostly concealed, built into us by indolence, self-interest and cowardice.

- John Osborne

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.

- John Osborne