I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.
My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman
My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.
- Wendy Liebman
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.
I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty. - Wendy Liebman
I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.
I just got my first bikini. It's a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you. - Wendy Liebman
I just got my first bikini. It's a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you.
I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that? - Wendy Liebman
I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?
I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail aski… - Wendy Liebman
I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail aski…
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father. - Wendy Liebman
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
The only way to really have safe sex is to abstain. From drinking. - Wendy Liebman
The only way to really have safe sex is to abstain. From drinking.
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