If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it.
As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach. - John Swartzwelder
As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.
- John Swartzwelder
They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good? - John Swartzwelder
They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?
If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it. - John Swartzwelder
I try to maintain a positive attitude at all times, because clients notice little things like that, and if you're frowning and crying all the time an… - John Swartzwelder
I try to maintain a positive attitude at all times, because clients notice little things like that, and if you're frowning and crying all the time an…
I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to se… - John Swartzwelder
I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to se…
I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days. - John Swartzwelder
I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.
I'm 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat. - John Swartzwelder
I'm 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat.
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