My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No Jacket Required, and I'll rave about it. 'Do you like rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this is rockin' good stuff, kid.'
Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure. - Patton Oswalt
Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
- Patton Oswalt
I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck. - Patton Oswalt
I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think… - Patton Oswalt
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think…
Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you. - Patton Oswalt
Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide … - Patton Oswalt
The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide …
Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself. - Patton Oswalt
Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago. - Patton Oswalt
We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not. - Patton Oswalt
You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"? - Patton Oswalt
Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?
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