My advice to women who habitually gravitate toward musicians is that they learn how to play an instrument and start making music themselves. Not only will they see that it's not that hard, but sometimes I think women just want to be the very thing they think they want to sleep with. Because if you're bright enough--no offense, Tawny Kitaen--sleeping with a musician probably won't be enough for you to feel good about yourself. Even if he writes you a song for your birthday. Don't you know that a musician who writes a song for you is like a baker you're dating making you a cake? Aim higher.
Shirley MacLaine: what an asshole. - Julie Klausner
Shirley MacLaine: what an asshole.
- Julie Klausner
Do you think trees are the new birds? Don’t answer that right away. - Julie Klausner
Do you think trees are the new birds? Don’t answer that right away.
Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt. - Julie Klausner
Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt.
Having one of your like dumb sort of stream of consciousness tweets used against you on a right wing website is the ultimate compliment. - Julie Klausner
Having one of your like dumb sort of stream of consciousness tweets used against you on a right wing website is the ultimate compliment.
Only sad sacks and conformists need things like no kiss on New Year's Eve to remind them to feel lonely. They're as bad as the people who need St. Pa… - Julie Klausner
Only sad sacks and conformists need things like no kiss on New Year's Eve to remind them to feel lonely. They're as bad as the people who need St. Pa…
I'm not big on regret - until time travel actually exists, it seems like a waste of making yourself feel bad - Julie Klausner
I'm not big on regret - until time travel actually exists, it seems like a waste of making yourself feel bad
When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my conten… - Julie Klausner
When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my conten…
I’m really afraid of spiders and my own feelings. - Julie Klausner
I’m really afraid of spiders and my own feelings.
I consider Greeks the Jews of the sea. - Julie Klausner
I consider Greeks the Jews of the sea.
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