I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

- Charles Farrar Browne

My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce.

- Charles Farrar Browne

We can't all be Washingtons, but we can all be patriots.

- Charles Farrar Browne

The happy married man dies in good stile at home, surrounded by his weeping wife and children. The old bachelor don't die at all — he sort of rots aw…

- Charles Farrar Browne