although-always-noise-laughter-really-cant-quiet-funerals-rather-like-nice

Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.

Bob Monkhouse
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Bob Monkhouse's Popular Quotes

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth cert…

- Bob Monkhouse

When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?

- Bob Monkhouse

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.

- Bob Monkhouse

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

- Bob Monkhouse

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

- Bob Monkhouse

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

- Bob Monkhouse

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

- Bob Monkhouse

It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.

- Bob Monkhouse

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

- Bob Monkhouse
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