although-always-noise-laughter-really-cant-quiet-funerals-rather-like-nice

Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.

Bob Monkhouse
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Bob Monkhouse's Popular Quotes

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

- Bob Monkhouse

When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?

- Bob Monkhouse

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

- Bob Monkhouse

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

- Bob Monkhouse

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

- Bob Monkhouse

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

- Bob Monkhouse

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.

- Bob Monkhouse

It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.

- Bob Monkhouse

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth cert…

- Bob Monkhouse
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