Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Sayings, and Wise Words for Daily Inspiration

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I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is the Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, the pyramids are right there. In the movies, every hotel has a monument right outside your window. My hotel rooms overlook the garbage dumpster in the back alley.

Gilbert Gottfried's Popular Quotes

If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, dont laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as g…

- Gilbert Gottfried

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I always felt bad for Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa lived a whole life helping starving children and dying villages, but she could never be declared a…

- Gilbert Gottfried

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.

- Gilbert Gottfried

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

- Gilbert Gottfried

A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I…

- Gilbert Gottfried

I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.

- Gilbert Gottfried

Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.

- Gilbert Gottfried

At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those …

- Gilbert Gottfried