Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Sayings, and Wise Words for Daily Inspiration

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I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with rock 'n' roll. And when I saw a lot of comics, no matter how good they might have been material-wise, I would get a little bored with them after 10 minutes, only because I feel comedians don't really know performance.

Andrew Dice Clay's Popular Quotes

Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by…

- Andrew Dice Clay

Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.

- Andrew Dice Clay

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

- Andrew Dice Clay

I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a gir…

- Andrew Dice Clay

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

- Andrew Dice Clay

I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.

- Andrew Dice Clay

I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive…

- Andrew Dice Clay

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

- Andrew Dice Clay

I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with …

- Andrew Dice Clay