This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.
Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate. - Stephen Colbert
Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
- Stephen Colbert
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt. - Stephen Colbert
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money.… - Stephen Colbert
If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money.…
I don't get why the government is the only one that gets to print money. - Stephen Colbert
I don't get why the government is the only one that gets to print money.
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us. - Stephen Colbert
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Stephen Colbert
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've go… - Stephen Colbert
If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've go…
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.
Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity. - Stephen Colbert
Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.
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