Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.

- Brendan Behan

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

- Brendan Behan

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

- Brendan Behan

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

- Brendan Behan

Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the sat…

- Brendan Behan

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

- Brendan Behan

The English and Americans dislike only some Irish--the same Irish that the Irish themselves detest, Irish writers--the ones that think.

- Brendan Behan

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

- Brendan Behan

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

- Brendan Behan