An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

- Irv Kupcinet

What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?

- Irv Kupcinet

I've reported murders, scandals, marriages, premieres and national political conventions. I've been amused, intrigued, outraged, enthralled and exasp…

- Irv Kupcinet

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray.

- Irv Kupcinet

A girl is grown up when she stops counting on her fingers and starts counting on her legs.

- Irv Kupcinet