If you want to do anything, you got to go do it. Perform a lot, write a lot, make yourself better. Use the Internet, make videos, create content.
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I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.
I don't like when people say, 'I'll pray for you. I'm going to pray for you. Praying for you.' You're going to pray for me? So you're going to sit at home and do nothing? 'Cause that's what your prayers are; you doing nothing while I struggle with a situation. Don't pray for me - make me a sandwich or something.
I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real.
I didn't really get into comedy until a couple months before I started doing comedy.
I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.
When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.
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