Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

- Eddie Griffin

I believe God wrote the Word in your essence. That's the genius of my Father. You are born knowing right from wrong. You don't need a book to tell yo…

- Eddie Griffin

One plus one equals three. When a man and woman marry they become one never two.

- Eddie Griffin

It was frustrating because I didn't do anything, ... I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and he decided to punish me. I couldn't do anything …

- Eddie Griffin

Actually it broke my heart to hear that we were going to have to part ways, ... It's a business and they had to do what they had to do.

- Eddie Griffin

My favorite date movie is Scarface. There's nothing like taking a woman to see Scarface. It gets the panties off quick.

- Eddie Griffin

If bribery is good enough for Congress, it's good enough for me.

- Eddie Griffin

I never wrote a joke in my life. I just get on stage and let it flow.

- Eddie Griffin

You have to know the human condition to get that many people to all respond at the same time to the same subject. You gotta understand humanity in or…

- Eddie Griffin