Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots. - Bob Hope
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
- Bob Hope
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease. - Bob Hope
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them. - Bob Hope
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
I have too much money invested in sweaters. - Bob Hope
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up. - Bob Hope
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf. - Bob Hope
We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip. - Bob Hope
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens. - Bob Hope
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing. - Bob Hope
It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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