The ideal length of time for sex to last is the entire relationship, breaking only for snacks.

- Tig Notaro

As soon as I say I'm from Texas people say, "Oh, I'm sure the school was horrible" and they picture me wearing some barrel and suspenders and people …

- Tig Notaro

I'm the luckiest unlucky person.

- Tig Notaro

I hold back parts of my life and experiences... I don't want to share anything just for the sake of sharing and exposing myself, but if something fee…

- Tig Notaro

I think every person and place is interesting, and there's an interesting story behind every door.

- Tig Notaro

I didn't just want to be the one who was always looking around at the weird family members. I wanted to make my mistakes.

- Tig Notaro

Life can very genuinely and realistically pile things on. It doesn't dole out the heartache and pain, or joy, perfectly.

- Tig Notaro

When anything huge happens to me, I always think, this isn't my moment, this is a moment.

- Tig Notaro

Everything's happened to me. Nothing can happen to me now.

- Tig Notaro