Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appea…

- W. C. Fields

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

- W. C. Fields

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

- W. C. Fields

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.

- W. C. Fields

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

- W. C. Fields

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

- W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

- W. C. Fields

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

- W. C. Fields

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

- W. C. Fields