In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.

- Victor Borge

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

- Victor Borge

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

- Victor Borge

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, …

- Victor Borge

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

- Victor Borge

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very ang…

- Victor Borge

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

- Victor Borge

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't p…

- Victor Borge