I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.

- Zach Galifianakis

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

- Zach Galifianakis

I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food

- Zach Galifianakis

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

- Zach Galifianakis

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

- Zach Galifianakis

My forte is awkwardness.

- Zach Galifianakis

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?

- Zach Galifianakis

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

- Zach Galifianakis

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

- Zach Galifianakis