Me and my big mouth! I'd get rid of it, only it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.

- Jimmy Durante

Don't put no constrictions on da people! Leave 'em the hell alone!

- Jimmy Durante

Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone.

- Jimmy Durante

Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

- Jimmy Durante

That's the conditions that prevail!

- Jimmy Durante

It dawned on me then that as long as I could laugh, I was safe from the world; and I have learned since that laughter keeps me safe from myself, too.

- Jimmy Durante

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

- Jimmy Durante

Make someone happy, Make just one someone happy, And you will be happy, too.

- Jimmy Durante

All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we…

- Jimmy Durante