I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morn…

- Zach Braff

I know that [Mike] Tyson talked about wanting to eat his opponent's children, but I don't think he ever had the balls to do it. I'm different - when …

- Zach Braff

It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.

- Zach Braff

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

- Zach Braff

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

- Zach Braff

Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.

- Zach Braff

Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.

- Zach Braff

It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It's like denying the cure…

- Zach Braff

Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.

- Zach Braff