The only thing that kept me out of college was high school.

- Uncle Kracker

Well, it's great that critics are comparing me to Eminem, and not Vanilla Ice.

- Uncle Kracker

You make me smile like the sun, fall out bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head. Spin like a record crazy on a sunday night. You make me dance like …

- Uncle Kracker

I hyperventilate opening a box of chocolates. I'm the most nervous guy in the world.

- Uncle Kracker

I am a dog that loves my fleas.

- Uncle Kracker

Kids today look at me like I'm Neil Young. Nirvana is the band their parents listen to.

- Uncle Kracker

I am an avid drinker with a serious bowling problem.

- Uncle Kracker