I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say. - Artie Lange
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
- Artie Lange
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian. - Artie Lange
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000. - Artie Lange
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself. - Artie Lange
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me. - Artie Lange
Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.
My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - … - Artie Lange
My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - …
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something. - Artie Lange
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it? - Artie Lange
If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate. - Artie Lange
I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.
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