QuoteProject
The chief cause of unhappiness in married life is that people think that marriage is sex attraction, which takes the form of promises and hopes and happiness - a view supported by public opinion and by literature. But marriage cannot cause happiness. Instead, it is always torture, which man has to pay for satisfying his sex urge.
Leo Tolstoy
ShareWTF𝕏

Interpretation

What this quote means

Marriage is often misunderstood as merely a sexual attraction, leading to unhappiness when this expectation is unmet.

In this quote, Leo Tolstoy critiques the common belief that marriage is fundamentally about sexual attraction and the happiness it supposedly brings. He argues that this misconception can lead to disappointment and suffering, as true happiness in marriage cannot be derived from mere sexual desires or societal expectations, but rather from deeper emotional and relational connections. By framing marriage as a potential source of 'torture,' Tolstoy emphasizes the complexities and challenges that come with intimate partnerships that go beyond superficial attractions.

Themes

MarriageHappinessRelationshipsExpectationsUnhappiness

In practice

Example use cases

This quote could be shared in a relationship counseling session to highlight misconceptions about marriage.

More from Leo Tolstoy

Art begins when a man, with a purpose of communicating to other people a feeling he once experienced, calls it up again within himself and expresses it by certain external signs.
Leo TolstoyRead
Pierre looked into the sky, into the depths of the retreating, twinkling stars. "And all this is mine, and all this is in me, and all this is me!" thought Pierre. "And all this they've caught and put in a shed and boarded it up!
Leo TolstoyRead
People try to do all sorts of clever and difficult things to improve life instead of doing the simplest, easiest thing-refusing to participate in activities that make life bad.
Leo TolstoyRead
It's too easy to criticize a man when he's out of favour, and to make him shoulder the blame for everybody else's mistakes.
Leo TolstoyRead
Music is the shorthand of emotion. Emotions, which let themselves be described in words with such difficulty, are directly conveyed to man in music, and in that is its power and significance.
Leo TolstoyRead
A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor β€” such is my idea of happiness.
Leo TolstoyRead

Similar quotes

I don't think it's different to be a black girl in England than it is to be a black girl from America. We all collectively share in a pain of displacement and not feeling like we quite belong in places.
Cynthia ErivoRead
Although I may not be my brother's keeper, I am my brother's brother, and 'because I have been given much, I too must give.'
Jeffrey R. HollandRead
All B.S. aside, it all comes down to... we got to survive. I mean, even warriors put their spears down on Sundays. We got to survive here in this country... 'cause I'm not going back to Africa. We got to survive here. And for us to survive here-White folks, Black folks, Korean folks, Mexican folks, Puerto Ricans-we got to understand each other.
Tupac ShakurRead
I've traveled around the world, and what's so revealing is that, despite the differences in culture, politics, language, how people dress, there is a universal feeling that we all want the same thing. We deeply want to be respected and appreciated for our differences.
Howard SchultzRead
In the enriching of marriage, the big things are the little things. There must be constant appreciation for each other and thoughtful demonstration of gratitude. A couple must encourage and help each other grow. Marriage is a joint quest for the good, the beautiful, and the divine
James E. FaustRead
To get a child's trust - you may know or not - is a very hard thing to do. They're so used to not believing adults - because adults tell tales and lies all the time.
Maurice SendakRead

A little wisdom, now and then

Subscribe for the occasional hand-picked quote. No noise.

Quote by Leo Tolstoy | QuoteProject