The life you have led doesn't need to be the only life you have.
Anna QuindlenRead
This is how I learn most of what I know about my children and their friends: by sitting in the driver's seat and keeping quiet.
Interpretation
Listening quietly is a key way to understand children and their perspectives.
In this quote, Anna Quindlen emphasizes the importance of observation and listening in parenting. By sitting quietly and allowing children to express themselves, parents can gain deeper insights into their thoughts, feelings, and interactions without intrusion, fostering a better understanding of their children and their social world.
In practice
During a parenting workshop, a speaker might refer to this quote to illustrate the value of observation in understanding children.
The life you have led doesn't need to be the only life you have.
The future is built on brains, not prom court, as most people can tell you after attending their high school reunion. But you'd never know it by talking to kids or listening to the messages they get from the culture and even from their schools.
I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me.
With reference to the younger generation..."If the experience of their exhausted, insomniac, dispirited elders makes them decide they'd prefer not to go straight from the classroom to the cubicle to the coffin, it doesn't mean they're lazy. It means they're sane."
Ideas are only lethal if you suppress and don't discuss them. Ignorance is not bliss, it's stupid. Banning books shows you don't trust your kids to think and you don't trust yourself to be able to talk to them.
I conveniently forgot to remember that people only have two hands, or, as another parent once said of having a third child, it's time for a zone defense instead of man-to-man.
That's exactly the way parents develop positive, successful kids. Don't look for the flaws, warts, and blemishes. Look for the gold, not for the dirt; the good, not the bad. Look for the positive aspects of life. Like everything else, the more good qualities we look for in our children, the more good qualities we are going to find.
Every child senses, with all the horse sense that's in him, that any parent is angry inside when children misbehave and they dread more the anger that is rarely or never expressed openly, wondering how awful it might be.
Like many people of my generation, I feel like I survived my adolescent mischief only by a miracle, and it seems too much to hope for that the same miracle would befall my children - therefore, I want to make sure they take fewer chances than I did.
Spend enough time wrangling a toddler, and you get good at being kind but firm. Like your child, you must be doggedly single-minded when it matters.
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.
Two worst things as can happen to a child is never to have his own way - or always to have it.
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