Those who give up cigarette smoking aren't the heroes. The real heroes are the rest of us - who have to listen to them.

- Hal Boyle

Memory is the best of all gardens. Therein, winter and summer, the seeds of their past lie dormant, ready to spring into instant bloom at any moment …

- Hal Boyle

Probably no one alive hasn't at one time or another brooded over the possibility of going back to an earlier, ideal age in his existence and living a…

- Hal Boyle

The cocktail party has a simple function in modern society. Its basic purpose is to pay off social debts.

- Hal Boyle

I used to envy kids who had an old-fashioned Grandpa. Not any more. I've got a new ambition. Now I just want to become a modern-type Grandpa myself-a…

- Hal Boyle

Does Grandpa love to baby-sit his grandchildren? Are you kidding? By day he is too busy taking hormone shots at the doctor's or chip shots on the gol…

- Hal Boyle

What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn't have any doubt it is sure to get where it is going, and it doesn't want to go anywhere els…

- Hal Boyle

Professors simply can't discuss a thing. Habit compels them to deliver a lecture.

- Hal Boyle