When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
Truth is available to the ears that can hear it. - Roseanne Barr
Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
- Roseanne Barr
I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr
I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
Being nuts is its own reward. - Roseanne Barr
Being nuts is its own reward.
Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight. - Roseanne Barr
Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. - Roseanne Barr
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr
The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Excuse the mess but we live here. - Roseanne Barr
Excuse the mess but we live here.
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job. - Roseanne Barr
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate thei… - Roseanne Barr
Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate thei…
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