The labour Party has lost the last four elections. If they lose another, they get to keep the liberal party.

- Clive Anderson

I'm not bald. I'm just taller than my hair.

- Clive Anderson

I think political correctness is a moving line.

- Clive Anderson

I've always liked trees. And then, growing up, I took an interest in ecology, hedges being destroyed, the landscape being turned into prairies.

- Clive Anderson

I am attached to the west coast of Scotland - it's gorgeous to look at and challenging. You have to contend with the possibility of being blown away …

- Clive Anderson

I do find myself surprised by the comedy shows that seem to have the same joke week in week out.

- Clive Anderson

Schoolchildren and older people like the idea of planting trees. For children, it's interesting that an acorn will grow into an oak, and for older pe…

- Clive Anderson

I don't think I'm really a rude person, but now I see myself on television, I think, 'Oh, God, that is a bit strong.' And I wonder if I've always bee…

- Clive Anderson

You can be a famous poisoner or a successful poisoner, but not both, and the same seems to apply to Great Train Robbers.

- Clive Anderson