Me and Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel and Dana Carvey wrote a script called 'Hans and Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma,' and it was going to be co-produced with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he was going to co-star in it. We had a deal with Sony, we got paid to write it, and it was a musical, but it never got made because...I think Arnold kind of backed out at the last minute because he was getting cold feet because ;The Last Action Hero' had come out, where he was parodying himself. But it was a really funny script, and I wish it could've seen the light, because I think it would've done really well.
I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak flu… - Kevin Nealon
I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak flu…
- Kevin Nealon
Marriage is great. It'll calm you down - that and neutering. - Kevin Nealon
Marriage is great. It'll calm you down - that and neutering.
The good thing about 'Weeds' now is, I get to play some dramatic parts in that as well. - Kevin Nealon
The good thing about 'Weeds' now is, I get to play some dramatic parts in that as well.
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. - Kevin Nealon
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want. - Kevin Nealon
Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the person you're with. - Kevin Nealon
You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the person you're with.
I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far. - Kevin Nealon
I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.
The ethical argument regarding abortion hinges on the question of when life begins. Some believe life begins at forty. - Kevin Nealon
The ethical argument regarding abortion hinges on the question of when life begins. Some believe life begins at forty.
Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes. - Kevin Nealon
Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.
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