countless-women-years-1965-1978-love-john-cusack-numberone-box-office-star

It appears that countless women born between the years of 1965 and 1978 are in love with John Cusack. I cannot fathom how he isn't the number-one box office star in America, because every straight girl I know would see her soul to share a milkshake with that motherfucker.

Chuck Klosterman
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Chuck Klosterman's Popular Quotes

Who Am I? Or (Perhaps More Accurately) Who Else Could Be Me?

- Chuck Klosterman

But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.

- Chuck Klosterman

We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is; living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.

- Chuck Klosterman

Without a soundtrack, human interaction is meaningless.

- Chuck Klosterman

Necessity used to be the mother of invention, but then we ran out of things that were necessary. The postmodern mother of invention is desire; we don…

- Chuck Klosterman

Important things are inevitably cliche, but nobody wants to admit that.

- Chuck Klosterman

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

- Chuck Klosterman

Being interesting has been replaced by being identifiable.

- Chuck Klosterman

Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time.

- Chuck Klosterman
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