He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

- Joseph Heller

You know, that might be the answer - to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail.

- Joseph Heller

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.

- Joseph Heller

There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

- Joseph Heller

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

- Joseph Heller

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

- Joseph Heller

The problem with the loneliness I suffer is that the company of others has never been a cure for it.

- Joseph Heller

Rise above principal and do what's right.

- Joseph Heller

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them.…

- Joseph Heller