Women expect us to like them, but they don't even like each other

- Patrice O'Neal

Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how to kill; I've learned how to kill - but also learned w…

- Patrice O'Neal

I like to be loved or hated - I don't like mediocre. So I'd rather have the entire crowd hate me than to have 90% hate me.

- Patrice O'Neal

Having women work with men is like having a grizzly bear work with salmon . . . dipped in honey.

- Patrice O'Neal

People say life ain't fairlife is very fair. People aren't fairpeople are terrible.

- Patrice O'Neal

Women don't want to win, they want a winner.

- Patrice O'Neal

People have tried to corner the market on being offended, corner the market on language and corner the market on opinion. Should I lose my job 'cause…

- Patrice O'Neal

I am that guy who will say things that people seem to think is a little edgy, a little racy.

- Patrice O'Neal

I'm really glad my food comes murdered.

- Patrice O'Neal