My daughter went to the school, and it's a very, very progressive and liberal school, and my commencement speech was telling the kids just to always be willing to quit, and that they need to quit a lot in their lives, and keep on quitting, because all the happiness I've ever got was when I turned my back on things that everybody else thought would make you happy. I can smell parents' stomach acid right now, but they know that whole "You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success" thing is really absurd.
In fact, with Michael Jackson, I think those mourning people... They aren't even waking Michael, they're waking the Michael Jackson of '84. They neve… - Bobcat Goldthwait
In fact, with Michael Jackson, I think those mourning people... They aren't even waking Michael, they're waking the Michael Jackson of '84. They neve…
- Bobcat Goldthwait
How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am. - Bobcat Goldthwait
How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am.
If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off. - Bobcat Goldthwait
If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.
Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit. - Bobcat Goldthwait
Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.
Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn c… - Bobcat Goldthwait
Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn c…
Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought th… - Bobcat Goldthwait
Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought th…
When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat. - Bobcat Goldthwait
When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.
What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question. - Bobcat Goldthwait
What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.
Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird. I know when people hear that, it's kind of like finding out that Jimi Hendrix really l… - Bobcat Goldthwait
Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird. I know when people hear that, it's kind of like finding out that Jimi Hendrix really l…
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