I quit my day job the day my daughter was born. I remember flying to Cleveland and hitting a thunderstorm, which caused the plane to lose pressure, and the oxygen masks fell from the ceiling. We felt the plane dropping; the pilot was taking it down to regain cabin pressure. My heart was in my stomach. I found out after landing that her mom was in labor. I did the show and came back to New York. By the time I walked into the hospital, my daughter was being born. She was waiting for me. She's a sweet daddy's girl. She's premed. She has her own pie company. She works for Habitat for Humanity.
I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there a… - J. B. Smoove
I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there a…
- J. B. Smoove
Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee. - J. B. Smoove
Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.
I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two guys talking to each other, and I will just start p… - J. B. Smoove
I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two guys talking to each other, and I will just start p…
Sad when you spend more time trying to stay alive than living. - J. B. Smoove
Sad when you spend more time trying to stay alive than living.
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware? - J. B. Smoove
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man. - J. B. Smoove
Sometimes you got to put somebody in their place, let them know that you mean business and you're a grown ass man.
Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in fron… - J. B. Smoove
Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in fron…
Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing. Kids get heavy. Quite literally. They're heavy to li… - J. B. Smoove
Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing. Kids get heavy. Quite literally. They're heavy to li…
I most resemble Benjamin Button. I evolve. I attach myself to the heartbeat of whatever is going on at that particular time, or I just chart a new pa… - J. B. Smoove
I most resemble Benjamin Button. I evolve. I attach myself to the heartbeat of whatever is going on at that particular time, or I just chart a new pa…
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