For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer's kid's bar mitzvah.
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say. - Artie Lange
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
- Artie Lange
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself. - Artie Lange
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000. - Artie Lange
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian. - Artie Lange
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me. - Artie Lange
Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.
My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - … - Artie Lange
My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - …
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something. - Artie Lange
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate. - Artie Lange
I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.
If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it? - Artie Lange
If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
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