I got into New College, Oxford. The ethos was that you could work - or not.

- Nigel Rees

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

- Nigel Rees

Lord Castlerosse was taken to task by Nancy Astor over the size of his stomach. 'What would you say if that was on a woman?' she asked, pointedly. 'H…

- Nigel Rees

Democracy is too good to share with just anybody.

- Nigel Rees

Rees's First Law of Quotations: When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to George Bernard Shaw.

- Nigel Rees

I am only too aware that I am open to Rees's Second Law of Quotation: "However sure you are that you have attributed a quotation correctly, an earlie…

- Nigel Rees

It is part of politics to make things look better than they really are. What is a spin doctor but a serial euphemiser?

- Nigel Rees

I was broadcast-struck from an early age; I had saved up for a tape recorder and started making programmes.

- Nigel Rees

Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions. It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process - in dismissal.

- Nigel Rees