I couldn't get any jobs, and when that happens, you get so humble it's disgusting. I didn't feel like a man anymore -- I felt really creepy. I was bu…

- Joe Pesci

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

- Joe Pesci

You win, you win. You lose, you still win.

- Joe Pesci

Women, aren't they perfect? It doesn't matter if they're fat, skinny, blond, or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it's the g…

- Joe Pesci

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

- Joe Pesci

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

- Joe Pesci

You try too hard. Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run.

- Joe Pesci

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn't match my grill.

- Joe Pesci

Ah, I don't do interviews, really.

- Joe Pesci