She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.
Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice. - Aziz Ansari
Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.
- Aziz Ansari
I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment. - Aziz Ansari
I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading. - Aziz Ansari
I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.
I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing. - Aziz Ansari
I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.
This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been… - Aziz Ansari
This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been…
Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians? - Aziz Ansari
Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?
Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired. - Aziz Ansari
Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot. - Aziz Ansari
Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.
I have no interest in art. Let me clarify — I have no interest in non-nude images. - Aziz Ansari
I have no interest in art. Let me clarify — I have no interest in non-nude images.
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