Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

- Bo Burnham

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

- Bo Burnham

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical abi…

- Bo Burnham

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

- Bo Burnham

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

- Bo Burnham

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

- Bo Burnham

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.

- Bo Burnham

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

- Bo Burnham

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

- Bo Burnham