Don't even FRONT like you love your family, America, or God, if you don't have a DETAILED & REHEARSED Black Friday tactical shopping plan.
I'm a comedian at the beginning and the end of the day. I'm not affiliated with any campaign, nor do I generally find politics interesting enough to … - Rob Delaney
I'm a comedian at the beginning and the end of the day. I'm not affiliated with any campaign, nor do I generally find politics interesting enough to …
- Rob Delaney
If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo. - Rob Delaney
If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo.
The best thing you can do when you're not feeling funny is go out and get more stimuli from the world, get out and walk around, read a book, go talk … - Rob Delaney
The best thing you can do when you're not feeling funny is go out and get more stimuli from the world, get out and walk around, read a book, go talk …
A long-term relationship is about showing up and working hard and banking on each other. If one's down, the other might be up and can help the other … - Rob Delaney
A long-term relationship is about showing up and working hard and banking on each other. If one's down, the other might be up and can help the other …
Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes. - Rob Delaney
Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes.
We can and should complain about certain horrors of the modern world, but when it comes to the treatment of mental illness, the advances made in the … - Rob Delaney
We can and should complain about certain horrors of the modern world, but when it comes to the treatment of mental illness, the advances made in the …
Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire. - Rob Delaney
Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire.
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth. - Rob Delaney
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.
I no longer believe in freedom of speech. - Rob Delaney
I no longer believe in freedom of speech.
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