I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

- Wilson Mizner

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

- Wilson Mizner

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

- Wilson Mizner

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

- Wilson Mizner

I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.

- Wilson Mizner

The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.

- Wilson Mizner

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

- Wilson Mizner

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

- Wilson Mizner

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

- Wilson Mizner