I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.

- John Oliver

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the histor…

- John Oliver

Economics is like the Dutch language - I'm told it makes sense, but I have my doubts.

- John Oliver

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify th…

- John Oliver

Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.

- John Oliver

Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

- John Oliver

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a b…

- John Oliver

Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.

- John Oliver

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

- John Oliver