The players need to remember to run with their bodies above their legs.

- Tony Kornheiser

The Bears treat offense as if its bubonic plague.

- Tony Kornheiser

Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all …

- Tony Kornheiser

Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos.

- Tony Kornheiser

Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She's got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt ... way too short for somebody …

- Tony Kornheiser

We think Eli is taller and handsomer now that he's won the Super Bowl. Imagine what would've happened if [Jaws] won the Super Bowl.

- Tony Kornheiser

Ivan Lendl is a robot, a solitary, mechanical man who lives with his dogs behind towering walls at his estate in Connecticut. A man who so badly want…

- Tony Kornheiser

Someone I talked to who covered auto racing for a lot of years said she believed there was a 60 percent chance that Junior qualified with a car not q…

- Tony Kornheiser

So instead of the Super Bowl, we've got the Stupor Bowl. Two once-proud teams, now 0-4 and stumbling through the season like zombies. And if you thin…

- Tony Kornheiser